Just a list of some off the wall Facebook status’ I’ve used or plan to use. Like many of these, some are original, some are borrowed, others stolen and a few condemed by the catholic league of Flying Squirrels. Feel free to borrow, steal or even condem them if you want.
- is proof reading to make sure he hasn’t any words out.
- must stop using Facebook as the primary communication method with his girlfriend, family and friends.
- is thinking Dilly-Dally, Shilly-Shally!
- must only pay for sex if the price seems really, really reasonable
- is looking for something to find .
- is in quarantine.
- is Being Invade by the americans..
- is a yummy jummy funny lucky gummy bear.
- is pretty sure that’s no moon!
- is altering the deal, pray he does not alter it any further!
- is finding your lack of faith disturbing *force grip*
- is sensing something; a presence he hasn’t felt since…
- a little short for a stormtrooper
- is upsetting the wookie
- is running out of good Star Wars one-liners
- thinks the only sound is your voice, tearing at my soul. Another ghost to haunt me.
- is havingtrou blewithhis spacebar.
- is taking a gap year and focusing on the bible.
- is ON STRIKE!!! Wants better scripts!
- is coming to a theater near you.
- is hoping you stop moving around so much. It makes video taping you easier.
- is with your girlfriend.
- wants a Mint Mocha Chip Frappuccino® blended coffee with Chocolate Whipped Cream!
- , it turns out, isn’t a Jedi
- ’s hobby is collecting dust
- puts the pro in procrastinate
- is thinking of a number between 1 and 10.
- is a vegetarian, not because he loves animals but because he hates plants!
- wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
- is filmed before a live stuido audience
- is busy with Jedi business, go back to your drinks.
- says size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
- doesnt look a thing like Jesus.
- Is the guy who put the laughter in manslaughter
- pondering a move into the 3rd dimension
- ‘s counting sheep he’s run over this week.
- is in the bushes watching you type in you status…..
- is growing accustomed to kinky swimming trunks!
- needs to stop buying kinky underwear for other peoples wives.
- is terrified of metaphorical orifices!
- is desperately in need of spiky cocktail umbrellas!
- trapped in the facebook status message textbox; send help!
- in another castle, sorry Mario.
- is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Trave may cause fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Trave is right for you.
- is getting over you…
- is practicing the mating rituals of protuberant air biscuits
- is riding ponies outside Wal-Mart. . .I need quarters
- is “updated to version 2.1, and included is many new exciting features.”
- is considering becoming a man
- is considering becoming a woman
- is getting a grip on reality..and choking it to death
- is the best of times and the worst of times.
- is “childish. No he’s not, yes he is, no he’s not, yes he is.”
- is looking at you naked (mood: disappointed)
- is Doing Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
- is here..now what are your other two wishes????
- is rejecting your reality and substituting his own.
- is just not the same since that house fell on my sister
- is laying in the road dressed as a deer
- is “the kid next door’s, imaginary friend”
- is beta testing your mom.
- is divulging his mind in the complexities of t… ooo look a kitty
- is …there are NO words.
- is has just finished installing a flux compacitor in his DeLorean and is headed back to 1985
- is tired of chasing his dreams. I’m just going to ask where they are going and hook up with them later.
- is busier than a cucumber in a woman’s prison.
- is talking to his inner voices..& they don’t like you
- says Judge me all you want… just keep the verdict to yourself
- says “”"remember JESUS LOVES YOU… It’s everyone else who thinks you’re an idiot.”"”
- is my little pony
- is missing the way things were…where the F is that time machine?
- is sweaty and smelly and sleepy and sipping water and somehow going to be alright.
- wants to be forgotten. Break me, Forgive me & relinquish what’s left to the ruins.
- is tortured by love & by pain, and surely would flee but for the oath…
- “I want to die but I can’t think of a way to end it all that involves cotton wool. I’m terrified of blades.”
- Don’t say you love me unless you really mean it, cause I might do something crazy like believe it
- She said: I’m afraid of falling … but he whispered: I have wings.
